Klang, Malaysia – The local little league soccer tournament is at its penultimate stage. Aloysius Bing the star player for Goaliath soccer team is the top scorer in this year tournament. Not all are rosy for Aloysius’s father, David Bing, the number one fan of his son soccer team. David’s eldest son, Alfred Bing, was also a playing member of the side two years ago when they won this annual tournament. Back then David’s obsession with this little league soccer team was already sown or rather already skin deep (with pun intended). Although he has never and will never admit to his wife, Anita, accusations in regards to his obsession and the hours he spent with his buddies; namely, Garth and Brutus, during weekend soccer matches.
At the beginning of this year he has taken upon himself, his new year’s resolutions and among the items on the list are his vows on getting a tattoo (without Anita consent and knowledge) of his favourite soccer team, Goaliath and shed off two hundred pounds because he was told by his youngest son soccer team coach that he is unfit (he took it literally) to coach the little league outfit after his countless verbal attempts to contribute to the team coaching last year. Initially the artwork for the tattoo (a big heart shape with Goaliath adorned over it) is only for his right butt cheek but for cosmetic purpose, he has both of his butt cheeks done. The tattoo parlour that David went referred him to a competitor and the competitor too referred him to another competitor.
After months of exercises and several altercations with his youngest son little league soccer coach, David is finally lean mean and thin. Although some of the items on his new year’s resolution remain elusive. For example, overcome his phobia in watching chick flicks, ask for road directions, try to remember his anniversary date, refrain from organising annual family vacation at major soccer tournament venue, substitutes all French words with “frak”, learn the art of self defense before visiting his mother in law’s place, be man enough to tell his wife that he has a tattoo (it is two tattoos now) and finally tend to his bedroom chores with his wife, Anita (hopefully it won’t be as long as previous year).
On the eve of his coup detat to usurp his youngest son coach, David summon all his courage to accomplish two items from his list (the tattoos and bedroom chores). After slipping into something comfortable, he bends over to show Anita the tattoos. “What do you think? Neat, huh?” said David. “I think you got Garth’s name spelled wrongly” “I knew there is something going on between you two!” exclaimed Anita. All of David explanations were futile and he spent the rest of the night on the living room couch. It is very unlikely that David will have to re-arrange his priorities for now.
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